Islamic & Psychological Parenting: The Method to Make Joy of Our Hearts (قرة العيون)

Islamic Parenting: Proven Methods to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children

(بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم، والصلاة والسلام على حبيبنا محمد صلى الله عليه وسلم وعلى من اتبع صراطه المستقيم.) In the name of Allah (سبحانه وتعالى)- the Most Merciful. May peace and blessings be upon our beloved Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) and upon all those who follow his righteous path. 

Dear Readers, 

(السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته.) May Peace, Mercy, and Blessings of Allah be upon you. 

Raising a child as a pious and successful Muslim is the biggest concern of practicing parents today. Do you think—your beloved child is slowly slipping away in this fast-paced technology? Do you worry that he will be able to maintain his faith, manners and character in the face of the challenges of modern society? If your child suddenly gives up prayers in his teenage years, becomes addicted to mobile phones, does not listen to his parents—then your chest will burst, right? But what if I say—90% of the responsibility for this lies with your parenting from 0-7 years? 

It is universal truth that we love our children. But love and raising children properly—these two things are not the same. Today's reality is— 99% of parents unintentionally make mistakes that ruin the child's mind, character and future. The truth is—a child cannot be raised with love alone; it needs proper guidance, behavioral consistency, and Islamic morality. It is impossible to meet the challenges of this era with traditional or popular parenting methods. Modern psychological research and Islamic moral guidance—both clearly reveal a common truth: the right behavior, conscious approach, and appropriate environment toward a child play a decisive role in shaping his future. But in reality, many times, unintentional wrong steps hinder the child's mental development, leave a negative impression on behavior, and create a distance between them and their parents. The Prophet (ﷺ) said—“The best among you is the one who is best to his family.” (Tirmidhi) 

Islam, Psychology, and Modern Parenting Science—all three agree—a child develops in words, behavior, environment, and emotional security. Harvard Child Development research says: Inconsistent parenting damages the emotional brain of the child, which is exactly the opposite of the model of prophets like Hazrat Luqman (a.s.), Hazrat Dawud (a.s.), Hazrat Ibrahim (a.s.), and Hazrat Muhammad (ﷺ). Children copy behavior, not advice. 

In this blog, we will share some advice from the perspective of the Quran, Hadith, psychology, and leading Islamic parenting scholars, which will make your parenting modern, scientific, and hereafter-oriented. How to create the right path in raising children by combining the light of Islamic teachings and modern psychological principles, and by following some proven methods, these wrong steps can be easily reduced and can make your child the 'coolness of your eyes' (قرة العيون) in the world, Insha'Allah (إن شاء الله). Let's start the journey of teaching our children the right Tarsiyah and Nurani by pronouncing the blessed name of Allah (بسم الله)."

💙 Prophetic Path, Not Tradition: What is Your Parenting Proof ?

The trials of every age are different. Modern psychologist Dr. Bruce Lipton (Harvard) says: “A child’s brain is in a ‘hypnotic state’ from the age of 0-7– what it hears, sees, it believes 95% and that program runs throughout life.” Parenting in every age must also be re-learned in the light of the Quran and Sunnah. What our parents did in our age was right for their age. But have you seen the storm of trials today? TikTok is taking away faith in 15 seconds, which would not have happened in 15 years in our father’s era. Allah says: (وَمَنْ أَعْرَضَ عَنْ ذِكْرِي فَإِنَّ لَهُ مَعِيشَةً ضَنكًا) “And whoever turns away from My remembrance, indeed, his life will be straitened.” (Surah Ta-Ha, 20 : 124)

Your parenting should be based on ‘updated’ knowledge of the Quran and Hadith, not tradition. Why are the teachings of prophets like Hazrat Luqman (peace be upon him) still relevant today? Because his advice to children was tailored to their needs, depending on the time, society, and circumstances. The Quran says, (يَا بُنَيَّ أَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَانْهَ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ وَاصْبِرْ عَلَىٰ مَا أَصَابَكَ ۖ إِنَّ ذَٰلِكَ مِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ) "O my son, establish prayer, enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong, and be patient over what befalls you. Indeed, that is one of the determinations of affairs." (Surah Luqman, 31:17)

Psychologists say that every child is different. Your child's emotional intelligence and psychological needs may not be the same as yours. Do not be harsh or rigid, but adapt your approach to suit his or her temperament, as Islamic scholars have said.

💚 You Are Their First School: Build Yourself with '2X' Virtue:

You must first have twice the good qualities that you want your child to have. You will sit with Facebook back in the office, but want your child to sit with the Quran—this is a kind of betrayal of Allah. Only if the entire family decides to follow the path of religion together, then it is possible to form good children.

According to Social Learning Theory, children learn mainly through observation and imitation. How you get angry, how you speak, how you worship—these are directly reflected in the child's character.

💜 Guaranteed Jannah Returns! The Best Investment Idea for Your Child:

Choosing an ideal educational institution is the most important thing for the future faith and character of the child. How will my child's faith survive in a school where girls' uniforms are knee-high, boys are free-mixing, Valentine's Day is celebrated?

Hazrat Ibrahim (AS) left his wife and son in the forest and prayed: (رَبِّ اجْعَلْ هَذَا بَلَدًا آمِنًا) “My Lord! Make this city a safe city.” (Surah Ibrahim, 14:35). The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “Every child is born on Fitrah (the innate nature of Islam). Then his parents raise him to be a Jew, a Christian or a polytheist.” (Muttafaqun Alaih).

Sheikh Saleh Al-Munajjid said: “If you have to change your city for your child’s religion – change it. Allah will give you something better than that.” Islamic scholars emphasize that the education system must be one where the objectives of Shariah (Shariah Objectives) prevail. If necessary, even if it means changing jobs, residences, and everything else to ensure an ideal environment and ‘migrating’ the entire family, it should be done. Because saving yourself from the fire of Hell is the most important task in the world.

❤️ First Step of Pre-Marriage Parenting:

Start dua before marriage, not after the birth of a child. Many people think that they should start dua (دعاء) when the child is conceived, but those who are still young or unmarried should also start dua (دعاء) from the heart for a righteous child.

Hazrat Zakariya (AS) prayed:  (رَبِّ هَبْ لِي مِن لَّدُنكَ ذُرِّيَّةً طَيِّبَةً) “My Lord! Grant me from Yourself a pure offspring.” (Sura Al Imran, 2:38)

After every Fajr and Maghrib, make this supplication in prostration: (وَالَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا) (And those who say, “Our Lord, grant us from our wives and our offspring comfort for our eyes, and make us an example for the righteous.”) (Surah Al-Furqan, 25:74)

Imam Ghazali (رحمه الله) said: “The parents who recite the last bow of Surah Maryam every day and pray for a good child – Allah will grant them children like Imam Hasan and Imam Hussain.”

🤎 The Prophet's (ﷺ) Tawakkul (توكل): Tied the Camel, or Hard Work?

In raising good children, we should not make any mistakes in our efforts, but at the same time we should remember that the ultimate guidance is in the hands of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala. Remembering this truth, we should not indulge in excessive exaggeration or despair.

Hazrat Luqman (AS) gently advised his child without getting angry. On the other hand, the example of the son of Prophet Noah (AS) reminds us that even after sincere efforts, the results can be different. He preached for 950 years, but his son did not receive guidance. However, our job is only to show the right path, and leave the results to Allah.

In fact, imposing excessive pressure or control can lead to rebellion or severe mental stress in the child. Psychologists say that parents should try their best to free themselves from the pressure of results (توكل), which is good for the mental health of both the parent and the child. Good.

In addition to the above guidelines, below are some important points. Without their coordination, good parenting is not effective. Know the points:

• Teaching prayers before the age of 07
• Teaching all kinds of manners
• Training in anger control
• Teaching the Quran from an early age
• Reciting Surah Mulk before sleeping
• Covering the private parts (from the age of 07)
• Not harsh punishment for lying, but explaining
• Going to Friday and mosque with father (especially for boys)
• Teaching to respect mother (Paradise is under the feet of mother)
• Encouraging charity
• Teaching modesty and modesty (especially for girls)
• Controlling mobile-TV (it was not in the time of the Prophet, but it was an order to curb the evil -النفس)
• Make them memorize a new prayer (دعاء) every day

🧡 Last part (Call to Action):

Every child is a special gift from Allah. Your prayers, love and patience are essential for the development of their beautiful attitude, character and confidence. Therefore, tonight, Cry and say: “O Allah! I do not want my child to be just a doctor-engineer of this world. I want him to be your saint. Let his prayers and Quran become a light for me in my grave.” So that your child can say at the age of 20-25, “Father-Mom, what you taught me – this has changed my life. May Allah grant you Jannatul Firdaus (جنة الفردوس).” – So what greater success can there be than this?

May Allah help us all to fulfill this great responsibility. Aamen (آمين).

#islamicparenting, #psychologicalparenting,  #muslimparents, #childdevelopment, #positiveparenting, #childrensmentalhealth

Thank you for taking the time to read this inspiring story. We hope it has uplifted and motivated you to overcome any challenges you may be facing. "The best among you is the one who benefits others." (Musnad Ahmad, Hadith: 22803). If you found this information helpful, like💙 , upvote ✅, clap 🙏🏼, comment 💯, and share 📩 your thoughts or experiences in the comments below. Your engagement helps spread awareness and keeps our community informed and motivated. Let’s achieve our goals together! 

Disclaimer: 

This blog post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. It is important to seek help from a qualified professional. 

May Allah (سبحان الله) bless and reward all of us. (جزاك الله خيرا)